In the last thirty-six hours I have:
Run over the double stroller with our van.
Snuck into my friends yard on the way to preschool to steal one of her roses because Mercy needed a flower to “give” to Mary this morning at preschool and I did not make it to the store.
Poured chocolate frosting over a Boston Cream Pie, only to realize that I had forgotten to add the powdered sugar.
This week I have my first meeting with a therapist. The last five years have been filled with many great joys and incredible gifts from God, yet they have also brought with them some very deep pain, trauma and loss. The events leading up to Elijah’s birth, in particular the incident with the taxi cab in Chicago, brought me to some sort of breaking point where I felt something change or snap deep within. I have been waiting for a while now to “feel better” or “be myself” again, and it has not happened.
Elijah turned one a few weeks ago, and I realized I had subconsciously given myself this past year to sense some internal change and when I saw that the change I hoped for had not come, I knew that it was time to seek out someone who could help unravel the knots inside of me and help me progress in some form of healing.
I am grateful for a recommended, generous counselor who is making some sacrifices so that he can work with me; I am grateful for an employer who is so supportive of my doing this; and I am so grateful for a husband and friends who have encouraged me steadily.
I have always appreciated the kindness and prayers of so many here that I felt good about sharing this news with you and asking for your continued prayerful support.
Back in my undergrad days in Chicago, I was given an award from an organization called Chicago Public Allies. The award was called Tomorrow’s Leaders Today, and we were recognized during a nice reception at the Harold Washington Library downtown. I remember “Michelle from Public Allies” well, however it was not until this week’s Newsweek came out that I realized that the woman I remember was Barack Obama’s wife. I don’t remember meeting Barack (though I assume he would have been there as a board member for the organization), but I thought it was interesting that my path crossed theirs in that way many years ago.
I have mentioned here before my son’s fascination with the Goodyear Blimp. He knows that when he hears the echoes of the USC marching band practicing outside, it is going to be a good day for blimp sightings. This morning he came walking into the dining room from the living room, clutching something small in his hand. He walked to the window through which he would normally listen to the band (and watch for the blimp), and he stood there muttering something about “blimp” and “band”. Hearing nothing myself and knowing it is no longer blimp season, so to speak, I walked closer to ask him what he was doing exactly. He kept repeating something about the band and blimp. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted one of Mercy’s little blue ponytail holders resting on the windowsill. Aaron pointed to it and said proudly: “A band for blimp.”
My friend, Tyler Watson amused me with this reflection.
Last year it was a wind storm and massive power outages (not to mention trees falling into neighbor’s houses). This year it is major flooding, and it is affecting many we know and love here in Seattle. I geniunely forget what life with weather can be like.
Erika Haub, Nurse/Widwife
This morning Doug thought our crazy fish was going to give birth again, so he told me to keep an eye on her. Sure enough, things started to progress so I isolated her in a different bowl (a vase I was given in the hospital after Elijah’s birth–appropriate) and she went for it. Of course, she waited until Elijah was fussy and Mercy and Aaron were having a tiff over some toy so it was no small task to deal with her needs as well. Not to mention, I have no affinity for fish tanks and all things related…
So now here I am with a little batch of the tiniest fish I have ever seen! Doug says I need to separate her because she might eat them–yikes!
My friend Ellen was here for a bit and she asked me what we were going to do with all these baby fish and I told her honestly we have no clue. I don’t know if it is my postpartum state or because I have watched the opening “Circle of Life” song from the Lion King too many times on YouTube this week with the kiddos, but I feel attached to these fragile little creatures having helped usher them into the world.
No, our baby has not yet arrived, however twenty-one of the tiniest little baby Mollies have joined our fish tank family! Doug’s intuition on Saturday proved correct, and his decision to move the mama fish into the little separate breeding box meant that this time around, many more than one little baby fish survived. We have no idea what we will do with these little guys–we certainly can’t keep them all–but they are very fun to watch.
Doug informed me yesterday that for this breed of fish, one insemination can result in up to four “batches” of babies. Wow.
My favorite “get hit by a taxi together in Chicago” friend, Rebecca, just tagged me to participate in a meme that John Smulo has started. I don’t always get around to doing these when tagged, but for Rebecca, who so gently and graciously prayed for me in the back of the ambulance that night, I will!
1. Apologize for three things that Christians have often got wrong. Your apologies should be directed towards those who don’t view themselves as part of the Christian community. Alternatively, apologize for things you personally have done wrong towards those outside of the church.
2. Post a comment at the originating post so others can keep track of the apologies.
3. Tag five people to participate in the meme.
4. If desired, send an email with the link to your blog post at the Christians Confess site, giving permission for your apologies to be added to the website.
Well, here goes…
1. I am sorry that I have been unwilling to disregard reputation the way Jesus, who did not chafe under being called a glutton and drunkard, so clearly did.
2. I am sorry that I have held tightly to what I have and refused to give materially to the needy and the stranger.
3. I am sorry that I have sought to “protect” my holiness through exclusion and separation.
And I tag…any of you who read here and would like to add your own!