I read an interesting piece this past week over at Mark Galli’s blog where he quotes a portion of a recent Atlantic Monthly article titled: “Marry Him.” He leads with this quotation from the article:
My advice is this: Settle! That’s right. Don’t worry about passion or intense connection. Don’t nix a guy based on his annoying habit of yelling “Bravo!†in movie theaters. Overlook his halitosis or abysmal sense of aesthetics. Because if you want to have the infrastructure in place to have a family, settling is the way to go. Based on my observations, in fact, settling will probably make you happier in the long run, since many of those who marry with great expectations become more disillusioned with each passing year.
Check out the whole piece and share your thoughts with Mark who writes: “I’d love to hear how it does strike you. I just don’t know what it’s like to be a 20-or 30-something at the turn of the 21st century…”
Someone sent me this article a couple weeks ago, I might put that up on my blog. I don’t think it’ll be the end of eHarmony – if anything it’ll up the number of subscriptions. It’s just easier to meet people there and easier to become disillusioned with who they are or “settle” in the mystery of what they could be.
What I found interesting was when she said:
“I used to listen each week to a litany of unrelenting complaints about people’s husbands and feel pretty good about my decision to hold out for the right guy, only to realize that these women wouldn’t trade places with me for a second, no matter how dull their marriages might be or how desperately they might long for a different husband. They, like me, would rather feel alone in a marriage than actually be alone, because they, like me, realize that marriage ultimately isn’t about cosmic connection—it’s about how having a teammate, even if he’s not the love of your life, is better than not having one at all.”
…interesting.
I don’t think I am quite ready to settle – mostly because I would be too afriad. But she does make some compelling arguments. I guess he arguments stem more from the side of carreer/family/success rather than lifelong love and commitment though.
Julia,
I just started reading your other blog–didn’t know you had it until a few days ago! It is hilarious!!! I already find myself looking forward to the next installments 🙂
Erika, after a second person told me I should read the article, I took the time and did so. Thanks for being the first. I wrote my thoughts here