On a more personal note…

This week I have my first meeting with a therapist. The last five years have been filled with many great joys and incredible gifts from God, yet they have also brought with them some very deep pain, trauma and loss. The events leading up to Elijah’s birth, in particular the incident with the taxi cab in Chicago, brought me to some sort of breaking point where I felt something change or snap deep within. I have been waiting for a while now to “feel better” or “be myself” again, and it has not happened.

Elijah turned one a few weeks ago, and I realized I had subconsciously given myself this past year to sense some internal change and when I saw that the change I hoped for had not come, I knew that it was time to seek out someone who could help unravel the knots inside of me and help me progress in some form of healing.

I am grateful for a recommended, generous counselor who is making some sacrifices so that he can work with me; I am grateful for an employer who is so supportive of my doing this; and I am so grateful for a husband and friends who have encouraged me steadily.

I have always appreciated the kindness and prayers of so many here that I felt good about sharing this news with you and asking for your continued prayerful support.

9 comments

  1. Erika,
    Stressed emotions are actually rooted in a remembered physical response to trauma. I believe it is very wise that you pursue help towards healing. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  2. Thanks, friends. These comments, and the emails I have already received, have been a real encouragement. Thanks for sharing the journey!

  3. God can heal our very deepest pain and when He does, we know that there is no part of us that is hidden from Him, and so our faith grows even deeper as a result. Our prayers are with you. Hugs around for the Haubs!

  4. I appreciate your sharing that you’re going to therapy, which is SO healthy. Maybe your example will help others to seek healing in their own journey.

    I also salute you for being a mother who is doing something healthy for yourself, which ultimately, will also benefit your family in the long run.

  5. Thanks, John. I did feel like, though this if of course something that is very personal, there was a reason for putting it out there and offering that bit of transparency. It is good to know that we all struggle and that we are not alone.

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