I just wanted to offer that I read a great book on the subject - a book that takes seriously the inclusion and participation of children in all aspect of church life; “Welcoming Children: A Practical Theology of Childhood,” by Joyce Ann Mercer. She starts by considering a theology of childhood and builds from there. I think it would be a great resource that if taken seriously could contribute to our church’s transformation toward greater love, welcome and participatory inclusion of children.

Truthfully, I was ashamed of my own previous views of nursery and children’s church (a place for the kids to be entertained or worse, babysat, while the grown-ups go to church). Since coming into relationship with this other church, I have sought ways to emulate their passions and behaviors at home, and begin to look more closely at how our home church is eqipping the little ones…

On a more personal note, we totally relate to Doug being comfortable with his child at his side as he leads worship. We love it when our children join us when we’re helping out, whether that’s making someone food or leading worship. We also relate to your observations that somehow they are not welcome when we’re up front–that there is, in fact, no place for young ones, which implies that there is a separation between those up front in worship and those in the congregation. This is upsetting to me on so many levels….

That said, one of the greatest ways our pastor has ministered to us since we had children was holding Max while we did sound checks, letting Echo touch his glasses and be entertained by his voice while we tuned up the worship band, and last week, by getting down on his level and answering Max’s latest theological question, “Why can’t we visit God’s apartment?” There is great ministry to our children in personal ways…

Beautifully put. Thanks.

I can only imagine what the single people would say if WE moved into Fuller housing…

I totally relate to how you describe being distracted on Sundays. That is the word that sums it up for me too. There was a spell last year when I just dreaded Sunday mornings. It was my most stressful time of the week! And oh how I am learning that my spirituality is my whole life and not a set of rituals and routines that have become largely obsolete with three little ones Not that there won’t be days of silence and fasting and retreat again…I know they will come only too soon. But for now, it is that other very earthy spirituality of diapers and play.

When we moved, we realized that although our new church was full of loving well-intentioned believers, the pervasive attitude was one of serving the worship “experience”. Young mothers were the ONLY ones serving in the nursery, and they were usually lined up sitting against the walls in an exhausted stupor while the children played. Whoever had gotten the most sleep the night before tried to encourage the others, but conversations often descended into cynicism and complaining. The focus on the “service” was because, I believe, the congregation felt that they were trying to reach unbelievers who might be there any given morning. We understood, but my husband and I didn’t really see that in all the “one anothers” in the new testament.

Maybe because our children came so quickly and closely, we learned very quickly that our “meeting together” had to be about encouraging and serving others, and not about focusing on “getting something out of the service.” We really don’t want our kids to be shuttled off and entertained, or like you said, a “duty” to be dealt with so the smart big people can follow the order in the bulletin with no snags. If we all want to be “real” and “authentic” in our worship, well, it doesn’t get any more authentic than children. : )