I remember reading and being challenged by that exact same passage. For me personally, pretty much the greatest weariness of all in this line of work is discerning case-by-case when to help and when to say no. I have come to believe that, honestly, the only way to know is to be led blindly by the Holy Spirit in that very particular circumstance. We never have enough information to compare needs (ours vs. the recipient, or “recipient a” vs. “recipient b”), and so that calculus isn’t even a rational basis for the decision. My personal rule of thumb is just to try to make sure my heart is open to either answer — “no” sometimes being the even harder thing to have to say — and trust Him for all the rest.

As for the larger point from The Corner, I really believe that living in relationship with people takes care of our concern about imposing unrealistic expectations. If anything, my own heart has grown too lax about expectations and standards after the years on the ground. Empathy long since over-flooded me, and I am convinced I’d be exactly the same had I lived and grown old in these conditions. When I really saw firsthand, I was almost congenitally unable to judge, quite apart from any conscious piety. All I could do was weep, and try to learn from scratch how to live with that much weeping going on all the time inside my heart.

My greatest alarm in life is how many elite decisionmakers passing judgment that affects intimately the lives of the poor don’t live in any relationship with the poor … The best guarantee of just decisions is for the people who make the policy to live shoulder to shoulder with the people impacted by the policy. Only then do they see well enough to judge rightly and, otherwise, they’re playing Russian roulette in the dark, and the cost is human blood. The reality is this stark. No one can ever convince me otherwise.

My dream is that a future generation of policymakers will be expected to meet this higher standard of integrity as a matter of course, rather than being penalized for defying “professional” convention. This is why I value so very deeply what you and Doug have chosen to do and why I elevate your personal example anywhere I possibly can. I thank both of you for being you, again and again.

Thank you for sharing.